Show But Not Tell -- Jurvis Tan

(He pushed his way through the crowd)

Leslie was frantically searching for his father, pushing his way through the crowd. He was trying to get a glimpse of his mom's back. No matter how he struggled from left to right and right to left, he failed to catch the  sight of his mother. No matter how he squeezed himself through the hustle and bustle, he did not get to see her. It was getting tensed, Leslie started to panic.

1 Response to "Show But Not Tell -- Jurvis Tan"

  1. lis Says:

    Good showing of Lesile being frantic and the repetition of his fear when he could not find his mother. Keep to short sentences. Keep it up!

Post a Comment